crap

I'm in a dilemma.

A dilemma - (Greek δί-λημμα "double proposition") is a problem offering at least two solutions or possibilities, of which none are practically acceptable; one in this position has been traditionally described as being impaled on the horns of a dilemma, neither horn being comfortable.

Source: Dilemma on Wikipedia

I can't decide on things right now. Whether I should prioritize making Christmas boxes, practice the piano or even doing anything productive at all. I was awake till 3.00am this morning, doing something unproductive - reading stories on my unglam monitor screen.

I hate the holidays. I always think too much and end up emoing. Like what I'm doing now. I should've went for camps. Anything that would, and could satisfy my need for companionship now would be awesome. I'm stuck at home, I eat, sleep, constipate, start working on a few Christmas gift boxes for certain people but stop an hour later, falling into a deep, uncomfortable sleep for the next 3 hours, doing totally nothing at all, alone and miserable.

Sad, ain't it? I absolutely hate the holidays. And the f♥cking internet is just pissing me off. College is starting in the next two weeks, and I don't know what to expect, what to wear or even how to react to people around me.

So what happens when college starts? Do I just study for the next one and a half year? No more extracurricular activities, just come home from college and eat, sleep, constipate. I don't know la, right now, I don't know what I should do. Practice my piano until I become a teacher? Hmm. Don't know. Or maybe I should just memorise a monologue and prepare myself for auditions next year. Don't know. Or maybe I should just die and not do anything and be a bum for the rest of my life. But that won't be happening, ain't it?

Whatever.



uncheerioseets, arty.