fudge

- White ribbon: RM9.90
- Knapsack: RM49.95
- White shirt: RM35.50
- Watch: RM67.30
- Shorts: RM26.00
- Lancy-ness: Priceless.

That's Shahila Johan. I met her from Kaki Blue. One of the nicest and most talented person I know. ♥

Thinking about the stuffs I done in the past, my audition for T4YP was like, the beginning to where I am today. Not to say that I'm extremely good or whatever, I just find that I've been extremely lucky. Like how I screwed up my audition for Kaki Blue, I think I shouldn't be abusing this privilege that God has given me, right?

I don't think I had a proper closure for my time in Kaki Blue. I wasn't performing my best and I felt that I disappointed a lot of people. Not just the sing, dance and act thing, that was already thoroughly screwed, but in the way I handled people throughout this period. I think I disappointed a lot of people, the director for one, and the choreographer for the other.

I suck at singing. I just can't do it. The more I listen to myself sing, the more disgusted I get. I don't wanna spoil people's ear drums anymore. I should just keep my mouth shut and listen. Listen to what beautiful voices other people have. I should stay in my corner, and do my lil' Facebook activities, right?

I just, don't see the point of doing things anymore. Fine, I took up guitar in Form 2, and what did I do with that? I didn't excel in my drums either, which I took up in Form 1. Yet, I wasted all that money from taking all those classes. I feel guilty, extremely, extremely guilty for not excelling in them.

I try to look at it in a different way, I'm trying to see it as sort of a knowledge gaining thing. I know the basics of playing the guitar, or the different timings and beats of the drums and what not. But what can I do with this knowledge? I'm not qualified to teach other people to earn some extra cash, nor am I good enough to be useful to other people. D:

I need a new way of thinking things through. I'm definitely gonna fail my AS exams. That's how feel about my education right now. So what if I got 10A's for SPM? It doesn't matter how good I was in the past, but how good I'm gonna be in the future if I actually studied.

Fudge. D:

uncheerioseets, arty.