feelin

Last year post acties. Mok looks scary. xD

I hate myself.

I hate the way I look.

I know I should be grateful for who I am and all, but yea. It's a self-esteem issue.

I've been told many times, that we should just accept who we are and such.

Well, it's just that. Sigh.. Anybody got a self-esteem issue book? I really need one right now.

I feel so bad about myself Imma die.

Like, *cut*

I wish.

I wish that I could be like you.

Physically. xD

YEAAAA, I'm saying I'm fat and ugleh.

Meh, SEE? I feel worse now.

GEEBUS.

I feel so.

GAH.

I hate the way I act, the way I conduct myself in public.

I get criticised by everybody, to stop acting like this and that.

Well, FUCK off. It's my life.

I can lead my own life.

I don't need you to tell me how I should act.

Feminine, or whatever shit you got.

Screw it and get lost.

It's cause of you people who make me feel so bad about myself.

I am who I am.

I can just say that, but I'm actually having serious doubts inside.

Sigh..



Adrian's prolly gonna kill me when he reads this.

He's been trying so hard to fix the impossible.

My impossibilities. Like, issues I have.

Oh well, can't be bothered now anyways.

Well, today was. Kinda fun. Awal Muharam. Holiday. Tuition. Lamb shoulders for dinner. Homework. Blog. Sleep. Die. Hopefully I won't be able to wake up tomorrow. Or never. Which would be better. At least the world would be one suicidal person less. It's a good thing, really. Cause the suicide rate is already high enough. Mine's prolly gonna be like, natural death or sth.



And I won't be going to heaven either. It's like. I'm sinning right now. You know, death. I should only be taken when I'm needed too. Not forcefull by myself. Works of Satan? A bit. Well, a lot.

Man, I so need a life. Prolly one with lotsa good friends.

Most probably my best friend won't even be reading this. I so need to talk to him more. Asshole. xD



I'm pathetic. Sigh. Blogging away. Saying I'm suicidal and all.

Dear Heassion, I need your help. I need like, cats. Or prolly a pet. So I can strangle it. =)

And there're some of you out there. Who don't even care about my feelings.

But you visit my blog.

Then you leave a comment.

But you never read a single thing.

And you said you cared.

Bish, die. You were only here for the pictures.



Sigh. See? I look fat. Darn.


'twas in Yippee Cup with Jo and Ally and Ming Hui and Jing Tao and of course me.

But nah, I enjoyed that day. Just felt fat. That's all.

Yeap, it's all about fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

I hate thin people. Seriously. I wish I was thin. Well, stop wishing and go exercise? Basically impossible for me. Don't ask why. But it is.

So yea, I'm jealous of thin people.

Cause I'm fat.

You can say that other people are fat, yet they're super confident and all. But so what? THEY'RE NOT ME. Mehs.

This sucks. I'm going to bed. So I'll prolly lose some pounds while sleeping.

effinghellrioseets, arty.

PS: And I'm losing hair. So it lowers my self-esteem more.