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Arthur Chia.


That's it really, that's who I am.

Just a boy, just a boy.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

lol


I can't remember where I took this, but it's so pretty. ;D

Mm.. Mango flavoured chocolate. Received them yesterday. From Lay Yin. o.o

That and Madam Lalitha says I need counseling. =\

Madam Selva is PMSing. She's scolding like mad lately. And I'm guessing I'll be the next victim.

YMay is dying nows. She said she wanna suicide.

And I need to do my hw. I'm feeling guilty now that Madam Matthews said she's gonna ask the teachers not to tolerate with us.

Sigh.



Come to think of it, I haven't dined out in a very very long time. Omg I miss the cheese cake from TGIFriday. That and all the nice nice food from all the nice nice restaurants with all the nice nice things. Gahh.

cheerioseets, arty.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

arty


From the plane to Sabah.

My chains are gone,
I've been set free,
My God, My Savior, has ransomed me,
Like a flood, His mercy reigns,
Unending love, amazing grace.


Chorus from Amazing Grace ( My Chains Are Gone ) by Chris Tomlin.

Sangat sweet la this song. Eunice got me addicted to this song. @.@

Well, homework pile up. I haven't done my Add Maths homework for two weeks now. Not to mention I've gotten away for it for many times adi. xD That and I'm very tired nowadays.

Ever since the Leadership Camp on the 25th and the 26th, my head has been aching every morning till I sleep and night. Basically it never stops. It hurts so bad I have to sit down for 5 minutes to wait for it to go down for a while. Yes, that's how much it hurts.

And my eczema(?) is getting better. Though, the spots are getting more visible. At least now I know why my hair is falling. =D


Pangkor trip. '06

Imma sleep now, so darn tireds.

cheerioseets, arty.

*Oh yea, did you know spam is a kind of meat? ;D* - for YMay.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

aduhais

Slept for 12 hours.

Didn't sleep for 41 hours before that.

Leadership camp facilitators are like, zombies.

Imma blog later. And I don't even have any pictures! =(

cheerioseets, arty.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

effing



Fuck, Shit, I lost my file. You know files where people put their papers and important things in? Yea, I fucking lost mine. Shit wei, all my certificates and pictures and all. Omfg. T.T That and I lost my Add Maths book as well.

And my leg is starting to get worse. Maybe cause I'm walking too much or it's just me.

Effing hell. I'm so unlucky.

cheerioseets, arty.

Monday, January 21, 2008

x



Aku super sad.

I just feel so left out. Like, leadership camp facilitators meeting, it's like, no one wants to talk to me.

Do I not have a place where I belong? Where everybody would talk to each other, or at least try to talk to me. Sigh.. Am I such an annoying, insensitive evil bastard that nobody wants to talk to? Or maybe it's just the people I talk to.

Anyways, before that, I forgot to appreciate someone dearly to me. She cheered me up. At least she tried to. xD But yea, it lasted for a while.

I wub you forever, Jamin as a friend. xD

That and I'm making a new layout. I'm going back to my favourite old depression colour;

Sigh. Do I really not fit in? Or is it just that I'm not willing. To like, you know, know people. Or is it just that I'm not good enough. Not good enough for everybody in my school.

Sigh..

Talk about lack of self confidence. I've just taken it into a whole new level.

cheerioseets, arty.

-edit-
I don't like my new template, does that mean I'm low on self-confidence?
-/edit-

Friday, January 18, 2008

deadddd

A before after pic? Most probably. And look how big my leg became! Swollen awesomeness. xD


^ Yesterday. Today v


Arty sprained his ankle for the first time.

I'm not Arty. I'm Anklyty. Arty died.

So yea. Anklyty is very unlucky btw.

So Thursday morning, Anklyty was walking down the stairs in school at about 7.53am after morning assembly. Anklyty missed a step and sprained his ankle. He walked to the office and to the sick bay alone. And stayed in the sick bay alone. And walked back up to the class PAINFULLY alone. Sigh.. See how sad Anklyty is.

And today, Anklyty had an eye infection. He was rubbing his eyes at about 2.45pm during clubs and society. Anklyty thought it was just a normal itchy eye thingy. But nooo, it wasn't. It was actually an infection. At first it looked like mosquito bites under his eyes. Then it became swollen and Anklyty could hardly see anymore.

See how unlucky Anklyty is.

--

"Lend me a looking glass;
If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,
Why then she lives."

King Lear Shakespeare

Death is a scary thing.

I just finished watching Final Destination 3.

To those who watched it, you've got me to salute you. Imma so scared about death right now, that Imma cut myself tonight.

Well, sometimes death is represented by the cutest ways.



Or prolly the cruelest ways ever. Especially in Final Destination 3. Where blood splatters everywhere. They should really put the 18 thingy sign on top of the movies like, to tell people who started watching the movie late or something. Cause I'm freakishly scared right now.

"Death is certain, since it is inevitable, but also uncertain, since its diagnosis is sometimes fallible"

Jacques-Benigne Winslow, Danish Anatomist: Morte incertae signa, 1740

And I'm feeling all morbid now. xD

cheerioseets, arty.

Friday, January 11, 2008

toide



Teardrops on my piano? Naw, haven't reached that point yet.

So.. School. Was normal. 'Cept for a teeny weeny bit.

Penguins are cute. Especially emperor penguins DYING and DYING and DYING all over again. ;D

That concludes a normal school day at WMS.



This still cracks me up. xD

Gah, just noticed that I don't enough pictures. Maybe. I should. Cause like, I only took up 3000 pictures with my phone. Sigh, should've reached 5k by now.



Ahahas, it was either in Pavillion or Gardens. Can't rmb. Cause it's so toilet-ish, and new! xD

And Sams, I don't hate you. I just said it for fun. It excites me! xP

cheerioseets, arty.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

feelin


Last year post acties. Mok looks scary. xD

I hate myself.

I hate the way I look.

I know I should be grateful for who I am and all, but yea. It's a self-esteem issue.

I've been told many times, that we should just accept who we are and such.

Well, it's just that. Sigh.. Anybody got a self-esteem issue book? I really need one right now.

I feel so bad about myself Imma die.

Like, *cut*

I wish.

I wish that I could be like you.

Physically. xD

YEAAAA, I'm saying I'm fat and ugleh.

Meh, SEE? I feel worse now.

GEEBUS.

I feel so.

GAH.

I hate the way I act, the way I conduct myself in public.

I get criticised by everybody, to stop acting like this and that.

Well, FUCK off. It's my life.

I can lead my own life.

I don't need you to tell me how I should act.

Feminine, or whatever shit you got.

Screw it and get lost.

It's cause of you people who make me feel so bad about myself.

I am who I am.

I can just say that, but I'm actually having serious doubts inside.

Sigh..



Adrian's prolly gonna kill me when he reads this.

He's been trying so hard to fix the impossible.

My impossibilities. Like, issues I have.

Oh well, can't be bothered now anyways.

Well, today was. Kinda fun. Awal Muharam. Holiday. Tuition. Lamb shoulders for dinner. Homework. Blog. Sleep. Die. Hopefully I won't be able to wake up tomorrow. Or never. Which would be better. At least the world would be one suicidal person less. It's a good thing, really. Cause the suicide rate is already high enough. Mine's prolly gonna be like, natural death or sth.



And I won't be going to heaven either. It's like. I'm sinning right now. You know, death. I should only be taken when I'm needed too. Not forcefull by myself. Works of Satan? A bit. Well, a lot.

Man, I so need a life. Prolly one with lotsa good friends.

Most probably my best friend won't even be reading this. I so need to talk to him more. Asshole. xD



I'm pathetic. Sigh. Blogging away. Saying I'm suicidal and all.

Dear Heassion, I need your help. I need like, cats. Or prolly a pet. So I can strangle it. =)

And there're some of you out there. Who don't even care about my feelings.

But you visit my blog.

Then you leave a comment.

But you never read a single thing.

And you said you cared.

Bish, die. You were only here for the pictures.



Sigh. See? I look fat. Darn.


'twas in Yippee Cup with Jo and Ally and Ming Hui and Jing Tao and of course me.

But nah, I enjoyed that day. Just felt fat. That's all.

Yeap, it's all about fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

I hate thin people. Seriously. I wish I was thin. Well, stop wishing and go exercise? Basically impossible for me. Don't ask why. But it is.

So yea, I'm jealous of thin people.

Cause I'm fat.

You can say that other people are fat, yet they're super confident and all. But so what? THEY'RE NOT ME. Mehs.

This sucks. I'm going to bed. So I'll prolly lose some pounds while sleeping.

effinghellrioseets, arty.

PS: And I'm losing hair. So it lowers my self-esteem more.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

z0mg

Darn it all!

cheerioseets, arty.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

shongs


Oh darn. I miss my dead rose. REMEMBER IT?
Aw man. The good times.. =)

JoJo tagged me. xD

Ugh, mine has a lot of anime songs. I so need to seperate them. Not many ppl watch these animes. So yeaaa. SORRY XD

The Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how they relate to the questions.
5. Tag 5 people.


1) How are you feeling today?
| | Time To Say Goodbye - Josh Groban
- LOL Man, I feel like this today. Like, perpisahan. xD

2) Will you get far in life?
| | Taiikusai desu yo - Lucky Star BGM
- Lol. It's a cheerful song. Marching band kind-thingy. YES! FAR INDEED!

3) What's your best friend's theme song?
| | Onjak Sekali - By god-knows-who
- Eh, my best friends became Malays! xD

4) What is the story of your life?
| | All You Wanted - Michelle Branch
- Yeap, everything I wanted it to be.

5) What was high school like?
| | Jiang Nan - JJ Lin Jun Jie
- Lol? xD I don't know what it means!

6) How can you get ahead with life?
| | Hymn of Fayth - FF10 Soundtrack
- Having fayth! (faith?) xD

7) Whats the best thing about your friends?
| | Tifa's Theme (piano) - FF7 Piano Collection
- Omg, sweet and nice. Man, it's so true! ;D

8) Describe your grandparents.
| | Don't Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas
- Apparently very sensitive in the heart. xD

9) How's your life going?
| | Xiao Wei - Huang Pin Yuan
- LOL MAN I'M IN FLIRTING MOOD NAO. XDD

10) What will be played at my funeral?
| | Anon no Housoku - Law of Ueki Soundtrack
- This is a creepy song, of a bad character. Means my funeral would be empty. xD

11) Will you have a happy life?
| | Kagami no Recorder Ensou - Lucky Star BGM
- Apparently very recorder-ish. Cause she's playing Joy to the World. Lol.

12) What do your friends really think of you?
| | Prelude in A - Shostakovich
- That I'm a happy and cheerful, yet have a dark secret. Darn, I hate classical music. They potray too much!

13) Do people secretly lust after you?
| | Konna ni Chikaku de.. - Crystal Kay
- Omg. Ask Cherng what this means!

14) How can you make yourself happy?
| | Ga-n! - Nodame Cantabile Soundtrack
- Something bad is gonna happen to make me happy.

15) What should you do with your life?
| | Grace Kelly - Mika
- Flirt. LOL

16) Will you ever have children?
| | Breathe - Michelle Branch
- I need to have lung transplants before I can have children lmao.

17) What song would you strip to?
| | Oh Pretty Woman - Roy Orbinson
- LOL GOOD SONG CHOICE LMAOOO XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
- Pretty woman, walking down the street~ LOL

18) What does your mom thinks of you?
| | Final Fantasy Techno Remix
- I never knew I had an extra hip bone to dance that well. O__o

19) What is your deep, dark secret?
| | Love Love Shine - DDR EXTREEEMEEEEEE
- LAWLZ0RSWTF, LIEK, Z0MG, YOU'RE LIKE, DAMNNNN HOT. *pouts lips*

20) What is your enemy's theme song?
| | Already One Year - Shinwa and BoA
- My enemy's damnn romantic wei. lol

21) Whats your personality like?
| | Toccata and Fugue in D Minor - Vannessa Mae
- I come in three flavours, Mysterious, LOL and Islam-ish.

22) What will be played at your wedding?
| | Tong Hua - Guang Liang
- WOOT. I LOVE THIS SONG! OMG ROMAN-NYE~

I TAG..
Cherng
Leash
Saunder
Jamin
Sams
♥ I know I'm crossing the limit, but this one is important.. you!

Friday, January 04, 2008

walao.



Walao.

Walaoo.

Walaooo.

I just noticed that all of my blogging friends have blogged more than 3 times since the new year has started. Aw man. xD

Okay well.

Oh, school. Was fun. xP

Imma talk about.. 2007

It is pronounced as Two thousand and seven in base 10.

It was a fun year.

Did a lot of stuffs.

Went to Japan.

Came back from Japan.

Had fun in Japan.

Regretted not spending all my money on the stuffs that I wanted to buy in Japan.

Saw my first pr0n shop in Japan. xP

First time I actually finished all my holiday homework. (Not in Japan :D)

Had troubles socializing.

Toilet roll met calculator. (on my desk omgomgomgomg)

I LOST and REGAINED Hsu Cherng as a friend a lot of times. Like, check my January 2007 post. xD Man, Cherng. Bish. xD

I feel sad for no reason and I still do. Ugh. It's a timeless thing xD

[blog post from 05/01/2007]

faxxors.
Friday, January 05, 2007
10 negative facts about me.

1. I'm in desperate need of attention.

2. I can't compliment myself no matter how much I try.

3. I'm fat, ugly and fat.

4. My family doesn't exercise. Stopped la, not me. I'm the one tortured. Can't go swimming, (<- how I became fat, since I stopped), the only sport I enjoy.

5. I don't think before I say anything. I'm irrational. So, I'm like, saying stuffs that hurt other people's feelings.

6. Therefore, I'm insensitive.

7. People hate me. *cries*

8. I'm losing friends one by one. I don't feel that I have much friends left. Or maybe I just don't realise it.

9. I try too hard in everything I want and not I need. So it's bad in a sense that what I need is done badly.

10. I can't make friends with new school students. Only camp or workshop students. Does this mean I'm anti-social? Or just a fake person that fakes his personality.

I've always thought to myself that I was a kind and loving person, after seeing so many negative things about me. I feel like my prescence is just nothing but annoyance. Blah, I sound like I'm writing a suicide letter. Who knows.

Depression, perhaps. Someone get me anti-depression pills.

Shoutout to everybody
I'm sorry for everything bad I said or did.
I'm sorry if I've offended you.
I'm sorry for being that fake person I've always been.

i-feel-so-bad-to-even-cheerioseets, bad arty.

[sigh.]

Oh, I died and died again. When Death Note was popular, we had lotsa funs. Like this Death Note website where you post online death notes. o.o

[death note by me and a friend on the 2nd day of school]

Arthur Chia Tek
Suicide
03/01/2007.
Goes to school at 7 am
Is told that he has been placed in the art stream
Jumps out his class window at 10am

So, I wrote back about him ;p My reply is way better, eh? ;p

Edwin Tan from Sri Cempaka
Murdered by the ghost of Arthur Chia
At 7am, after posting the Death Note of Arthur Chia Tek, Edwin Tan received a call from his dad. He found out that his close friend, Arthur Chia, had suicided. So, he decided to try the Death Note by writing his own name. At 7.45am, while at Sri Cempaka school assembly, he had to go the washroom. He was alone in the washroom. When a security guard holding a gun decided to steal his money. At 7.55am, a student went into the washroom and found a bullet on the floor. While he continued on, he saw a dead body of a boy. With a wound on his heart. Time of death: 7:56am.

Well, the website is down already, so yea. xD

Oh, I also noticed that my eyes becomes a single line when I smile in 2007. XD That means I'm becoming more self concious! xD

Ugh, I also wrote about Emoticons! Ugh, Feb 21st. ;D

I also fell in love with the Law of Ueki. xD

I also took too many pictures of foooooood. xD

Went to a car tyre factory. O.O

And. A lot more. Basically,

1) I made a few new friends.

2) Strengthened my friendship with my old friends and my best friend.

3) Opened my eyes more. Meaning, I'm able to like, see things in a clearer perspective. Realised a lot of things that was there but didn't appreciate it. Still don't but I'm trying. xD Which brings me to the next one..

4) My real friends were actually right beside me all these while, I just didn't manage to see them and I avoided them.

5) I realised I'm a NERDDDD xD Oh wait, I AM a nerd. XDDD

6) Fell in love with my piano. Decided to be more serious about it. But now, I'm losing hope again! Aw man! (bummer xP)

7) Woo. Fell in love with acting! But nah, I suck at it. =(

8) I had a serious liking for EXPENSIVE aiss creamuu that I couldn't afford once a week. xD IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED K?!

9) Man, I celebrated WORLD KIDAL DAY! WOOTS! xD August 13.

10) Didn't hang out much, but it was fun when I did. OMG I'M MORE NERD NOWWW. xD

Nyeh. Happae New Yah bishes. =D

cheerioseets, arty.

[edit]

Those Streamyx haters out there, get your free banners here. xD

I didn't make them. I founddd them interesting. So might as well. ;D

Streamyx Sucks

[/edit]

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

requests



Awesome requests. xD

Happae go back to school day. ;D



cheerioseets, arty.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

woot!

Lol.

Uninstalled McAfee, and everything worked again. Amazing.

Happae New Yah, btw.

It's the 1st. So it's still counted. ;D

Ugh. Second New Year's present? This is my first experiment with Apophysis. Did a bit of touch up in Photoshop.

cheerioseets, arty.



Edit. :D

I didn't write these. I found it on the net and I just wanted to share it with you guys. ;D

Livescience.com

10 Ways to Destroy Earth.



Total existence failure

You will need: nothing

Method: No method. Simply sit back and twiddle your thumbs as, completely by chance, all 200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms making up the planet Earth suddenly, simultaneously and spontaneously cease to exist. Note: the odds against this actually ever occurring are considerably greater than a googolplex to one. Failing this, some kind of arcane (read: scientifically laughable) probability-manipulation device may be employed.

Utter, utter rubbish.


Gobbled up by strangelets

You will need: a stable strangelet

Method: Hijack control of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider in Brookhaven National Laboratory, Long Island, New York. Use the RHIC to create and maintain a stable strangelet. Keep it stable for as long as it takes to absorb the entire Earth into a mass of strange quarks. Keeping the strangelet stable is incredibly difficult once it has absorbed the stabilizing machinery, but creative solutions may be possible.

A while back, there was some media hoo-hah about the possibility of this actually happening at the RHIC, but in actuality the chances of a stable strangelet forming are pretty much zero.

Earth's final resting place: a huge glob of strange matter.


Sucked into a microscopic black hole

You will need: a microscopic black hole. Note that black holes are not eternal, they evaporate due to Hawking radiation. For your average black hole this takes an unimaginable amount of time, but for really small ones it could happen almost instantaneously, as evaporation time is dependent on mass. Therefore you microscopic black hole must have greater than a certain threshold mass, roughly equal to the mass of Mount Everest. Creating a microscopic black hole is tricky, since one needs a reasonable amount of neutronium, but may possibly be achievable by jamming large numbers of atomic nuclei together until they stick. This is left as an exercise to the reader.

Method: simply place your black hole on the surface of the Earth and wait. Black holes are of such high density that they pass through ordinary matter like a stone through the air. The black hole will plummet through the ground, eating its way to the center of the Earth and all the way through to the other side: then, it'll oscillate back, over and over like a matter-absorbing pendulum. Eventually it will come to rest at the core, having absorbed enough matter to slow it down. Then you just need to wait, while it sits and consumes matter until the whole Earth is gone.

Highly, highly unlikely. But not impossible.

Earth's final resting place: a singularity of almost zero size, which will then proceed to happily orbit the Sun as normal.

Source: "The Dark Side Of The Sun," by Terry Pratchett. It is true that the microscopic black hole idea is an age-old science fiction mainstay which predates Pratchett by a long time, he was my original source for the idea, so that's what I'm putting.


Blown up by matter/antimatter reaction

You will need: 2,500,000,000,000 tons of antimatter

Antimatter - the most explosive substance possible - can be manufactured in small quantities using any large particle accelerator, but this will take some considerable time to produce the required amounts. If you can create the appropriate machinery, it may be possible - and much easier - simply to "flip" 2.5 trillion tons of matter through a fourth dimension, turning it all to antimatter at once.

Method: This method involves detonating a bomb so big that it blasts the Earth to pieces.

How hard is that?

The gravitational binding energy of a planet of mass M and radius R is - if you do the lengthy calculations - given by the formula E=(3/5)GM^2/R. For Earth, that works out to roughly 224,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Joules. The Sun takes nearly a WEEK to output that much energy. Think about THAT.

To liberate that much energy requires the complete annihilation of around 2,500,000,000,000 tonnes of antimatter. That's assuming zero energy loss to heat and radiation, which is unlikely to be the case in reality: You'll probably need to up the dose by at least a factor of ten. Once you've generated your antimatter, probably in space, just launch it en masse towards Earth. The resulting release of energy (obeying Einstein's famous mass-energy equation, E=mc^2) should be sufficient to split the Earth into a thousand pieces.

Earth's final resting place: A second asteroid belt around the Sun.

Earliest feasible completion date: AD 2500. Of course, if it does prove possible to manufacture antimatter in the sufficiently large quantities you require - which is not necessarily the case - then smaller antimatter bombs will be around long before then.


Destroyed by vacuum energy detonation

You will need: a light bulb

Method: This is a fun one. Contemporary scientific theories tell us that what we may see as vacuum is only vacuum on average, and actually thriving with vast amounts of particles and antiparticles constantly appearing and then annihilating each other. It also suggests that the volume of space enclosed by a light bulb contains enough vacuum energy to boil every ocean in the world. Therefore, vacuum energy could prove to be the most abundant energy source of any kind. Which is where you come in. All you need to do is figure out how to extract this energy and harness it in some kind of power plant - this can easily be done without arousing too much suspicion - then surreptitiously allow the reaction to run out of control. The resulting release of energy would easily be enough to annihilate all of planet Earth and probably the Sun too.

Slightly possible.

Earth's final resting place: a rapidly expanding cloud of particles of varying size.

Earliest feasible completion date: 2060 or so.

Source: "3001: The Final Odyssey," by Arthur C. Clarke


Sucked into a giant black hole

You will need: a black hole, extremely powerful rocket engines, and, optionally, a large rocky planetary body. The nearest black hole to our planet is 1600 light years from Earth in the direction of Sagittarius, orbiting V4641.

Method: after locating your black hole, you need get it and the Earth together. This is likely to be the most time-consuming part of this plan. There are two methods, moving Earth or moving the black hole, though for best results you'd most likely move both at once.

Very difficult, but definitely possible.

Earth's final resting place: part of the mass of the black hole.

Earliest feasible completion date: I do not expect the necessary technology to be available until AD 3000, and add at least 800 years for travel time. (That's in an external observer's frame of reference and assuming you move both the Earth and the black hole at the same time.)

Sources: "The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy," by Douglas Adams; SPACE.com


Meticulously and systematically deconstructed

You will need: a powerful mass driver, or ideally lots of them; ready access to roughly 2*10^32J

Method: Basically, what we're going to do here is dig up the Earth, a big chunk at a time, and boost the whole lot of it into orbit. Yes. All six sextillion tons of it. A mass driver is a sort of oversized electromagnetic railgun, which was once proposed as a way of getting mined materials back from the Moon to Earth - basically, you just load it into the driver and fire it upwards in roughly the right direction. We'd use a particularly powerful model - big enough to hit escape velocity of 11 kilometers per second even after atmospheric considerations - and launch it all into the Sun or randomly into space.

Alternate methods for boosting the material into space include loading the extracted material into space shuttles or taking it up via space elevator. All these methods, however, require a - let me emphasize this - titanic quantity of energy to carry out. Building a Dyson sphere ain't gonna cut it here. (Note: Actually, it would. But if you have the technology to build a Dyson sphere, why are you reading this?) See No. 6 for a possible solution.

If we wanted to and were willing to devote resources to it, we could start this process RIGHT NOW. Indeed, what with all the gunk left in orbit, on the Moon and heading out into space, we already have done.

Earth's final resting place: Many tiny pieces, some dropped into the Sun, the remainder scattered across the rest of the Solar System.

Earliest feasible completion date: Ah. Yes. At a billion tons of mass driven out of the Earth's gravity well per second: 189,000,000 years.

Source: this method arose when Joe Baldwin and I knocked our heads together by accident.


Pulverized by impact with blunt instrument

You will need: a big heavy rock, something with a bit of a swing to it... perhaps Mars

Method: Essentially, anything can be destroyed if you hit it hard enough. ANYTHING. The concept is simple: find a really, really big asteroid or planet, accelerate it up to some dazzling speed, and smash it into Earth, preferably head-on but whatever you can manage. The result: an absolutely spectacular collision, resulting hopefully in Earth (and, most likely, our "cue ball" too) being pulverized out of existence - smashed into any number of large pieces which if the collision is hard enough should have enough energy to overcome their mutual gravity and drift away forever, never to coagulate back into a planet again.

A brief analysis of the size of the object required can be found here. Falling at the minimal impact velocity of 11 kilometers per second and assuming zero energy loss to heat and other energy forms, the cue ball would have to have roughly 60% of the mass of the Earth. Mars, the next planet out, "weighs" in at about 11% of Earth's mass, while Venus, the next planet in and also the nearest to Earth, has about 81%. Assuming that we would fire our cue ball into Earth at much greater than 11km/s (I'm thinking more like 50km/s), either of these would make great possibilities.

Obviously a smaller rock would do the job, you just need to fire it faster. A 10,000,000,000,000-tonne asteroid at 90% of light speed would do just as well. See the Guide to moving Earth for useful information on maneuvering big hunks of rock across interplanetary distances.

Pretty plausible.

Earth's final resting place: a variety of roughly Moon-sized chunks of rock, scattered haphazardly across the greater Solar System.

Earliest feasible completion date: AD 2500, maybe?

Source: This method suggested by Andy Kirkpatrick


Eaten by von Neumann machines

You will need: a single von Neumann machine

Method: A von Neumann machine is any device that is capable of creating an exact copy of itself given nothing but the necessary raw materials. Create one of these that subsists almost entirely on iron, magnesium, aluminum and silicon, the major elements found in Earth's mantle and core. It doesn't matter how big it is as long as it can reproduce itself exactly in any period of time. Release it into the ground under the Earth's crust and allow it to fend for itself. Watch and wait as it creates a second von Neumann machine, then they create two more, then they create four more. As the population of machines doubles repeatedly, the planet Earth will, terrifyingly soon, be entirely eaten up and turned into a swarm of potentially sextillions of machines. Technically your objective would now be complete - no more Earth - but if you want to be thorough then you can command your VNMs to hurl themselves, along with any remaining trace elements, into the Sun. This hurling would have to be achieved using rocket propulsion of some sort, so be sure to include this in your design.

So crazy it might just work.

Earth's final resting place: the bodies of the VNMs themselves, then a small lump of iron sinking into the Sun.

Earliest feasible completion date: Potentially 2045-2050, or even earlier.

Source: "2010: Odyssey Two," by Arthur C. Clarke


Hurled into the Sun

You will need: Earthmoving equipment

Method: Hurl the Earth into the Sun. Sending Earth on a collision course with the Sun is not as easy as one might think; even though you don't actually have to literally hit the Sun (send the Earth near enough to the Sun (within the Roche limit), and tidal forces will tear it apart), it's surprisingly easy to end up with Earth in a loopy elliptical orbit which merely roasts it for four months in every eight. But careful planning can avoid this.

This is impossible at our current technological level, but will be possible one day, I'm certain. In the meantime, may happen by freak accident if something comes out of nowhere and randomly knocks Earth in precisely the right direction. Earth's final resting place: a small globule of vaporized iron sinking slowly into the heart of the Sun.

Earliest feasible completion date: Via act of God: 25 years' time. Any earlier and we'd have already spotted the asteroid in question. Via human intervention: given the current level of expansion of space technology, 2250 at best.

Source: "Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers," by Grant Naylor


 
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